Am I the only one who has noticed the same people who complained that we didnt connect the dots prior to 9-11, are now complaining that we connected the dots in Iraq?
- Rush Limbaugh
September 11 Quotes
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Funny Jokes
How many church members does it take to change a light bulb?
Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.
Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.
Baptists: At least fifteen. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.
Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including candescent, fluorescent, three- way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What's a light bulb?
September Horoscope
Funny Jokes
Dead Donkey
A clergyman awoke one morning to find a dead donkey in his front yard. He had no idea how it got there, but he knew he had to get rid of it.
So, he called the sanitation department, the health department, and several other agencies, but no one seemed able to help him. In desperation, the good reverend called the mayor and asked what should be done.
The mayor must have been having a bad day. "Why bother me?" he asked. "You're a clergyman. It's your job to bury the dead."
The pastor lost his cool. "Yes," he snapped, "But I thought I should at least notify the next-of-kin."
September Horoscope
Friday, July 18, 2008
Funny Jokes
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. -Groucho Marx
Funny Jokes
Top 10 Bumper Stickers
10. Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.
9. I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off.
8. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
7. Guys...just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.
6. Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.
5. If you can read this...I can slam on my brakes and sue your ass.
4. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
3. Try not to let your mind wander. It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.
2. Hang up and drive!
AND THE NUMBER ONE BUMPER STICKER YOU'D LIKE TO SEE...
1. Welcome to Canada.....we now speak English!
Adoption
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Abraham Lincoln Quotes
In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all; and, to the young, it comes with bitterest agony, because it takes them unawares.
-- December 23, 1862 - Letter to Fanny McCullough
- Abraham Lincoln
Famous Quotes
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